i hope it's a long december.

photoshoots, shows, friends, recording MY OWN SONGS/starting a band, singingsingingsinging, seeing the starting line reunion show in philly, roadtrips, etc. december is going to be amazing. 2010 WILL BE AMAZING because i will make it that way. this year is gonna be fkn awesome if it kills me. i don't care if i never sleep. i'm going to make this year count.



new lyrics:
"mother"

september started to look familiar that wednesday afternoon/i sang along on my drive home/i had intentions and i list when i got the call/shock and anger stood in front of me/knocking me out/all i could do was scream/every light was red on the way to the emergency room/specks of light i can hardly recall/shaky hands, shaking my head in disbelief/this is too much for 19/this isn't what a daughter is supposed to do/i got the call and i came for you/don't say i never did anything/please, all i ask is a reason/give us an explanation for a decision made so brash, so sudden, so selfishly/the spotlight's really on you now/a mother and her daughter's/all they can do is wait/uncomfortable hangs above us all/i was furious but i hid it well/i cried on the second drive home and as i packed your clothes/that familiar hall was still as bright and off-hue as i had recalled/different floor, same excuse/a bottle with your name on it doesn't give you the fucking right/but somewhere you found the nerve/an addiction is a choice/those two that care must not be in your point of view/mother, we did not ask for this/we cannot be held responsible/you can't pass the blame when there's no one left to pick you up/life and death can't be weighed out by swallowing pills/what could you be thinking?/how could i ever respect any words that will leave your mouth?/how can i love someone that refuses to love themself?/ this was the last chance i could give you/heavy in my heart, i understand/i've been there too/you ran, i will stay/i cannot so easily abandon as you/one last time/one last time/one last time/make it count/