lydia

Tell me how I finally figured it out,
That now you're caught in the things
You said you'd never do.
And now its starting to show
Like her skin fell out out of her clothes,
She's got a list of moves to make.

Stay for me,
Because it was the first.
Yeah it was the...
Stay on me.

Take your time lighting the room.
When all is said and done
I bet you're covering.
Is it a wonder you're lonely,
Taking chances to feel again.
I bet you never knew,
I bet you never.

Stay for me,
Because it was the first.
Yeah it was the...
Stay on me.

Suddenly, a cloud must have cut a hole in my head,
When i was tangled all in your words.
How quick to forget,
We are, With eyes unimpressed
You're sealing the conversations.
And are you wondering how things could be?
Just staring at the surface,
When all the walls have tendencies.
But it's not your fault when no one taught you how.

And now the one you once loved is leaving.

You're so sure that I'd be just fine here.
But you were surely just taking your own time dear.

Lydia reminds me of winter. i like it. i like it a lot. no longer does it bring back your face..just winter. cold, ice, snow, work, living, breathing, snow snow snow.

that's all i want to remember from two years ago. i'm not so hopeful but i'm trying. i think i'm going to be just fine.


i worked 60 hours this week. 3 jobs now. barely anytime for anything. luckily portland is a half hour closer to my other 2 jobs...and the boy lives in portland. multi-tasking. spending time AND cutting down on traveling. :] i like that.

this weekend was the best i've had in a really long time...even though i worked a double on saturday and regular on sunday. it was comfortable. i have missed that comfort sosososo much. the natural comfort and just..fitting. it was good. i'm still cautious...but i'm glad he realized. i didn't understand why we stopped talking in october...that all got explained...and now it's just, comfy :] i like it.

hopefully this is what i was kind of missing?? i hope.

all i have to do is get through december. if i get through december, i'll be golden.