something profound hit me today. i was raised in a pretty dramatic environment...meaning, there was always a problem with somebody or some fight going on or something to worry about. everyday i worry about something. mostly it's the things i'm taking the steps to fix right now. what happens when i get everything accomplished? what happens when i get my license, pay off usm, and get accepted into culinary school? to break it down:
i'm worried about what will happen to me when i don't have that many things to worry about.
i'm sure that it will be a long while before that happens. i'm always changing and i have so many goals but it still worries me. haha i'm silly. this is definitely something i'm going to bring up with my therapist.
day two of pilates. i woke up so sore today and then once i could actually do them today my power went out. it was awful. luckily it came back on soon after and i got to do them. i forgot how good this sore is. i used to be such a fitness freak. oh well. i hope by the end of the summer i'm lookin' good again. it's gonna take careful eating and alot more physical activity.
also- today wasn't half as terrible as i thought it would be. i woke up to my dad coming in my room and telling me my grandmother is sending me a check for $1,000 to go towards paying off my debt to usm. i'm so relieved. that means i only owe them $1500. that's so much better. i appreciate that more than she knows. i'm inviting her over for dinner this week.
i also spent time with my dad and grandfather being that it's father's day and all. we talked politics all through dinner. it was hilarious. my grampie cracks me up. anyways. that's about it. oh, i'm doing so freaking well with self-control too. it's been a month and i haven't reached out to a guy at all. well, i kissed one but that don't mean a thaaang. i'm pretty proud of myself.
well. time for reading, a movie and bed. maybe cleaning my room a bit inbetween there. g'night :]
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