i won't say you're useless

because i've seen you dream......i'm really into versaemerge now. wow.

my future tattoos include: *my back tattoo with the tree and polaroid with the floating bird cage with the open door (the polaroid with have an antiqued feel) and the roots that will twist into my cursive hand writting saying the words "both we and our words are overproduced"... those are circa survive lyrics incase you did not know. anthony green is a huge part of my life. * my frida kahlo portrait on my right thigh. it's going to be this painting------->the background will be almost exactly the same but the blue will be a bit more swirly and maybe have a fillagree pattern to it and the earth will start to crumble away as it goes down my thigh. i'll have the word "prevail" some where in there.*my left thigh is going to be an octopus and swirly and tangled tentacles. *then on my foot my sister and i are getting matching skeleton keys with H and A. since my name is heather and hers is amanda.

those four will be completely hopefully in the next 6 months. this all depends on if i get a job relatively soon. if i dont get a job soon....then i won't get work done. simple as that. i wish people wouldn't jump to fucking conclusions and critize my choices. thanks for the advice but i'm all set.



now for the meaning behind them all.
THE TREE
i have always loved trees. the symbolizes growth and life and really the essence of living. i feel like that has become such an important thing for me. really appreciating life and trying very hard not to get caught up in other people bullshit and letting it weigh me down. the polaroid with the bird cage is a play off of the same idea. for so long i really did care about the bullshit that surrounded me. i cared so much that i started to feel terrible about myself for no reason other than lies that i started to believe. the open door shows i've been set free from that. and the roots turning into one of my favorite anthony green lines: "both we and our words are overproduced" that i have found to be so true for so many people in this world. people lie to other people. we lie to ourselves. we deny and deny and deny and treat others like shit. now, not all people are like this...but it's hard to find the worthwhiles these days. find them and never let them go.

FRIDA KAHLO
she has always been one of my favorite artists. she was in a tragic bus accident and a pole went through her pelvis and she broke a ton of bones and was never able to have children. i have found out recently that may be the same case with myself.....and i've always wanted to be a mother. despite everything she became successful and overcame the odds and pushed on with her life. so her portrait is in some ways a portrait of myself and the word "prevail" goes perfectly. i've been through some shit...starting back when i was about 11 years old...and i always just find a way to get through. as we all do. make life worth living.

OCTOPUS
the ocean is a very spiritual place for me. i feel like if i was more religious than i would some how adopt the ocean as my religion. my entire mood and body feels different when i go to the ocean. i block out almost everything surrounding me besides the power of the ocean. i grew up there. i would comb the beach for shells and crabs for hours. i learned to swim there. also...the vastness....the vastness that is proven and tangible. that's very important to me. it's a very personal thing. i prefer to go to the beach alone more often than not for that reason.

SKELETON KEY
i'm not sure why i've always found skeleton keys to be so beautiful. i'm very into symmetry. i think it's an artist thing. but my sister and i were never close growing up. we actually despised one another. there are 6 years between us. as of this past year we are extremely close. and this tattoo represents that. the H and the A will be connected to symbolize that.


so basically, everything has a meaning. everything has a purpose. and as for you critics. fuck you. :]

SIDEBAR: people are really starting to piss me off. they keep telling me what to do and how i should plan my fucking tattoos. it's my fucking tax return money and i'm not gonna blow it all on body work. seriously. i'm not fucking retarded. it's a process. my outline for my back will be 200 and my entire right thigh will be about 320.