this town is diseased.

originally written august 24th, 2008.

this town is plagued with a highly toxic strand of gossip. it turns people into experts of how others should live their lives and how they should act and present themselves. this is why i was so excited to go on tour. every single move i make is watched by these people and judged. no one is real. absolutely no one. they are there for you one moment and you turn their back and they grab a shotgun and shoot you when you're down. it is ridiculous. this is not a circle of friends. it is a circle of let's talk about everyone and say all of our opinions even though we really don't know what's going on half the time for real.

this is immaturity at it's purest state. using someone's name and not generalizing in a myspace survey about who you are "dissapointed" in. why do i care if i dissapoint you? honestly, in our illusion of friendship there has been nothing but dissapointment. i'm actually sorry i was ever there for you. it was never really returned. this was a waste of time.

everything i've said or done for the past two months has been twisted and shifted and misconstrued to be something much more dramatic and juicy. if i wasn't such an easy target, some one else would be talked about. i didn't have this much drama even when i was in fucking high school. this is why i can really only hang out with dudes that are about 3 years older than me.

little girls talk shit and make excuses. get out of denial. you're just like the rest.

soon, this whole town, this whole state, this whole plague will be out of my life. when i'm gone, who will you talk about? i'm glad i made your life that much more interesting for the past half year. good luck when i'm gone.