insomnia is wrecking me lately.

i'm going back on adderol. i can't do this on my own anymore. i'm doing everything else the right way. i'm in therapy and i have outlets but it's just not enough. not for right now. adderol for even 4 months would help me. i would be more focused leading to less stress, less anxiety, and more sleeping and more accomplished. i just need this for a little while. my insomniac tendencies are killing me.

this next week will be interesting. tomorrow i have therapy at 9. then maybe some work. then cleaning. then starting at the gym with katie. that will be awesome. working out feels great lately. tuesday i'm volunteering again at the library then i'm going to portland for the night with joshua. we're gonna do more photo stuff soon. i really need to start writing down my concept photoshoot ideas. this is gonna be good. then it's a working and waiting game till friday. SUCH GOODNESS IS HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND!!!!! friday i'm probably going to the cambiata's last show and taking photos. then saturday it's moxie day AND boston for the dear hunter. then sunday night, i'm seeing my friends from mass and taking photos of their band. then chillage. it's gonna be an amazing weekend. and i should probably buy my warped tour ticket soon. that will be amazing.

FOURTH OF JULY:
this weekend was lovely. i went to portland with josh and co. to watch the fire works. then we partied at his apartment. apparently wine is my new poison. drank two bottles to myself. eesh. then today we went to OOB and met up with madore and talked about everything from the fall, ted, decker, bill, jon, jarrod, toast, anthony...everyone we know and what we've heard about them so far. it had been like 7 months. eesh. then josh and i walked around the old port for a while and then i came home and edited photos. it was just lovely.


things are looking up but i'm still stressed about alot. i'm always moving forward and growing. things just get tough sometimes.

i'll be just fine. i'm used to bullshit at this point and i will handle it as i see fit, even when judgmental and nosey bitches try to get in my way. :] i may live here for right now, but i left this town a long time ago.