a few words:

what is this game we play?
what is the sense of being so contrived?
was this your fault or mine
because we need to figure this out.
the face he makes when he whispers
is not unlike how i feel.
something much more terrifying in
the eyes of the one you love.
an excuse to keep holding on.
say words for the sake of the exhale.
the breaking down to rebuild.
i won't crawl back to that state.
i may not know where i belong but
i can tell when i'm about to fall.
i won't this time, i swear.
half-felt ideas.
loving you is like making
promises with fingers crossed.
will tonight ever end?
it's so unlike you to say goodbye.
=====================================================================
patience, patience, patience.
this is the waiting.
it's all in the waiting.
the inbetween time.
the uncomfortable in your throat and heart.
where can she run with broken legs?
her eyes search back to the familiar and
still she is left unsatisfied.
a bigger purpose for her heart is all she can ask for.
go about it the right way and be patient, dear.
hold strong and steady to what you can become.
it's all in the searching.
self-respect was lost along the way.
who and what decides our worth?
the pulse has dulled and her eyes lost their glow.
no longer golden, set and unchanging in the sun.
careful and determined.
she continues searching for the mysterious
self-control.
confidence on the brink of the collapse.
to stay here will be a stuggle.

you know your worth.
you know what you deserve.
stop and see with clearer eyes for the first time.
you can do this all alone.
================================================
the night was born inside of my room.
the sky was blood red on your drive home.
the morning light broke through and will
resonate within the words unspoken.
don't tell me about forever because forever
is just too hopeful.
i'm not hopeful.
don't count on me to see this through
because tomorrow is a day away.
you're hopeful and i just can't stay.
there are mouthfuls of words yet to be sung
and these phrases keep falling from my tongue.
the sky couldn't have been darker if it tried.
i'm tired but sleep won't come.
my nerves and racing mind will never calm..
===============================================
can you enter softly and fall into my bed?
whisper something almost true.
give me the potential of faith,
this is my only request.
i promise i will keep you close.

all too often words are overly spoken
so tell me something that you believe in..
a time when you deceived the only one you've ever loved,
those four letters crash together and create a sound
the sonnet of honesty and honestly i'll hide my secrets
force me to trust you.

i know i'll hide my fears until my walls feel weak.
vulnerability isn't okay with me but i'll try.
silence is strength.
you have all the reason to lie to me.
don't drag this out, pull me in.
=========================================
well what's the use of shaking hands?
the lives we've led until now?
a quivered silence between the sheets
a girl left empty and broken
too many questions filled her head
"don't let darkness pull you in"
he turned out the light
no tears left her eyes
for the first time she felt sight

your heart is filled with regret
forcing yourself to change everything
you deserve nothing less
the fire still burns in the morning
it's your choice to keep ignoring
deny the guilt away

a frozen state of self-confliction
she doesn't have the guts for this
the pills you swallow are good for awhile
but you can't keep running away
i've known you to stomach fear
you say your eyes are clearer now.

it's sickening with every tally mark
she keeps track with the scars on her heart
stay awake to keep from falling apart

deny the guilt away.