tomorrow will come

i am still on a post-phone convo high. i don't get why some people don't like talking on the phone. i mean, sure i'd prefer to talk in person...but when that's not an option...i really don't mind it. i love those getting to know one another conversations. i guess i really just enjoy getting to know new people. especially since all my friends are always far away.

let's start in the past. friday i went down to worcester, ma for taste of chaos. i saw auburn, cancer bats, pierce the veil, bring me the horizon, four year strong, and thursday. it was awesome. then i spent the night there. then came back saturday during the day and stayed with a couple friends in portland until tuesday. i love those weekends in portland. i don't love wanting what i can't have but tonight put things into perspective...and now i know i want it but don't need it....as badly as i really do want it...and how amazing it plans out in my head...it's not for the best. or maybe i'm just impatient. but i don't think i'm what he would want long term anyways....but then again. i don't know anything.

anyways, today i did laundry galore. also, my best friend is coming home this weekend and i haven't seen her in ALMOST THREE MONTHS! that's just ridiculous. she's bringing her friend...our friend joey as well. we're all going to a show friday night and also mega sleepover all weekend. it will be weird not staying in portland. oh well. a change of pace will help with my perspective. but yeah, joey and i talked for about two hours tonight on the phone just about life and lessons and observation and religion and outlooks. it was just very nice. i like when i can relate to people that much. and they actually give me their outlook on things.

i also concluded that every single male in this world should be weary of me. i change my mind often. i am too spontaneous. and i still feel that i am only in love with the idea of love...and that i just can't stand being alone. there is an ideal i will never fulfill. and i guess i'm okay with that for now. i mean, i had a silly hope in something as of late........and despite all things that were exchanged...i was a typical wishful thinker...and GIRL and thought i could change a mind...and a heart. not so much. it's kind of a let down. but like i said, more than likely for the best.


i went from being so down about this...and feeling almost stuck in this process of thought...to just okay and neutral about it. the phone conversation and just a new point of view helped so much. this weekend will be amazing.


sidebar: iron and wine is my latest craving.