scraps

so many times have those words escaped from the lips of the boys who think they've found love within me. "perfect". complete and whole. and then i tear them down. i should feel guilty. i more than likely heartless. i've been hurt so why not hurt the innocent. they need to forget the fairy tales. we all run around and try to find something that will fill us up to feel alright. once action and one too many drinks changed everything. how can i trust others when i don't think i can trust myself? we're all just fucked up. naiviety is cute anymore. get over vulnerability. i'll leave my walls intact. and call me a cynic and i'll just claim to be smarter than the rest.


my eyes ache from searching for anyone who'll change me.

i'm still running away from anything that may be good for me. i see patterns in the one's i start to love. i guess my heart will never learn. i'm overly critical of everything i say and anything you do. i still pretend to live in those songs. you can't seem to view as something i'm not.